Sunday, April 02, 2006

Walking away

The electronic side of my life (blog writing/reading, e-mail) has ground to a halt over the past week or two. I’ve been pushing, pushing, pushing on the studio front, trying to make things happen. I allowed myself to get excited. The equipment mover was booked. I have a small job lined up, on exquisite Japanese paper. I made enquiries about signing up for this year’s ReadyMade market. I signed the lease Monday, paid money and met with the electrician Thursday about installing ten new power outlets. Hooray!

But the landlord didn’t sign. Unhappy about the number of new outlets, he baulked at the cost. I suggested we meet halfway, all the while prepared to pay for the whole job. But something wasn’t right. When we met by chance at the space Thursday morning, he refused to speak to me or meet my eye. He’s a young guy, snappily dressed, driving a Mercedes Benz. Later, his non-English-speaking father pulled up in his well-worn truck, smiled and waved. The agent, also flummoxed, informs me that the landlord has reneged on their management contract and, were I to take up the place, I’d be dealing directly with the owner, who, for whatever reason, cannot bring himself to say hello.

Do you ever find yourself wanting something so badly that your only recourse is to leave the shop, get some air, count to ten? In the space on Thursday morning, it felt like mine. I could imagine my equipment set up, where I’d place my desk, where I’d hang my art. Remember how I wrote how strong I’ve been not getting too emotionally attached? Here is a recent fantasy:

I’m walking to work with my child.* We stop in Barkly Gardens for a minute or two on the swings before school. After school, she and her little friends cross the park to my studio and play at their cut & paste table. We print images from their drawings and auction them to raise money for the school.

[*Note: I’m currently, and most likely permanently, childless.]

See what a hard-headed negotiator I’ve been?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do I want to know how much it costs for an RMM stall? I'm scared to inquire.

9:17 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

Ditch the agent, deal with the young guy in the Benz. Money talks but so might a sample of your work so they can understand what it is you plan to do in that space. You've gone too far now to allow the landlord's personality issues make you back down!

10:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know exactly what you mean about not trying to get too attached. I am currently house hunting and have tried to bid on two houses. I try not to get emotionally attached to each house but how can you not when you feel a connection with the place. I just keep telling myself that I didn't get those houses for a reason. Now I am off to bid on house #3. Good Luck! -Meagan

11:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh man! I'm sorry to hear that this is still a sticky situation. I really have my fingers crossed that it works out for you sweetie. Again I just have to say that our house negotiations sucked so bad but eventually we got it and then it was truly like it never happened. I hope that happens for you, too. XOXO

4:04 AM  
Blogger Di said...

Carolyn- I really feel for you. Clearly some of the other characters involved in the process have their own issues -the problem rests with them- don't let yourself think that it's anything to do with you.
Time may reveal that this isn't the place for you. But I know you will find the right place soon. After all, I need someone to do some wedding invitations for me!

8:11 AM  

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